Removing Fillers Your Task. Revise the following sentences to avoid fillers. 1. There are many businesses that are considering strict e-mail policies. 2. It is the CEO who must give her approval to the plan. 3. The manager said that there are too many employees who are taking long breaks. 4. There are four major fast-food companies that are considering ways to expand their breakfast menus. Deleting Long Lead-ins Your task. Revise the following sentences to avoid long lead-ins. 1. This message is to let you know that I received your e-mail and its attachments. 2. This memo is to notify employees that the manager prefers weekly meetings. 3. I am writing this letter to let you know that your homeowners’ coverage will soon expire. 4. This is to inform you that the loss of laptops endangers company security. Eliminating Redundancies Your Task. Revise the follow sentences to avoid redundancies. 1. We will let you know the dollar amount of the remodeling charges. 2. The office walls were painted beige in color. 3. Team members asked to return back to the office. 4. The proposal is so complete that need not alter or change a thing. 5. A great majority of investors favored the proposed new changes. Reducing Wordy Compound Prepositions Your Task. Revise the following sentences to avoid wordy compound prepositions. 1. We were unsure as to whether or not to reveal the actual costs. 2. Despite the fact that we lost the contract, we feel good about the future. 3. Please investigate the manner in which the contract was awarded. 4. At a later date we will revise the contract inasmuch as the law as changed. 5. You have full use of the funds such time as the contract changes. Purging Empty Words Your Task. Revise the following to eliminate empty words and saying the obvious. 1. Our next meeting is scheduled in the month of July. 2. We plan to meet at 10 a.m. in the morning. 3. Because of the surprising degree of enthusiasm, the company expanded its free gift program. 4. Our supply has become very low; therefore, please send us 100 DVD-R disks. 5. Are you aware of the fact that deleted files may be recovered from digital media? Kicking the Noun Habit Your Task. Revise the following sentences to avoid converting verbs into nouns. 1. The homeowner came to the realization that her asking price was too high. 2. Customers show a preference for rich colors. 3. Management conducted an investigation into efforts for staff reduction. 4. Insurance representatives placed the damage assessment at $1,000. 5. The CEO must five give his approval of the plan. Dumping Trite Phrases Your Task. Revise the following to avoid trite, old fashioned phrases. 1. Pursuant to your request, we are correcting your balance due. 2. We have, in accordance with your wishes, credited your account. 3. In the future every effort will be made to send a printed invoice. 4. Enclosed please find the invoice for your recent order. Revising for Overall Conciseness Your Task. Revise the following to be simple clear, concise, and conversational. 1. Please be advised that it is our intention to make every effort to deliver your order by the date of your request, December 1. 2. There is an e-mail policy within our organization that makes a statement that management may access and monitor the e-mail activity of each and every employee. 3. Due to the fact that e-mail is a valuable tool in business, we in management are pleased to make e-mail available to all employees who are authorized to use it. 4. Whether or not we make a continuation of the sales campaign is dependent upon its success in the city of St. Louis. 5. It is our suggestion that you do not attempt to move forward until you seek and obtain approval of the plan form the team leader prior to beginning this project Developing Parallelism Your Task. Revise the following sentences to improve parallelism. 1. Your goal should be to write messages that are concise, clear, and written with courteousness. 2. Ensuring equal opportunities, the removal of barriers, and elimination of age discrimination are our objectives. 3. The market for industrial goods includes manufacturers, contractors, wholesalers, and those concerned with the retail function. 4. To improve your listening skills, you should stop talking, your surroundings should be controlled, be listening for main points, and an open mind must be kept. 5. For this position we assess oral and written communication skills, how well individuals solve problems, whether they can work with teams, and we are also interested in interpersonal skills, such as cultural awareness and sensitivity. Lists, Bullets, and Headings Your Task. Revise the following sentences and paragraphs using techniques presented in this unit’s readings. Improve parallel construction and reduce wordiness when possible. 1. Revise using a bulleted list. Yellin Resources specializes in preemployment background reports. Among our background reports are ones that include professional reference interviews, criminal reports, driving records, employment verification, and credit reports. 2. Revise using a numbered list. In writing to customers granted approval for loans, you should follow four steps that include announcing that loan approval has been granted. Then you should specify the terms and limits. Next you should remind the reader of the importance of making payments that are timely. Finally, a phone number should be provided for assistance. 3. Revise using a bulleted list. The American Automobile Association makes a provision of the following tips for safe driving. You should start your drive well rested. You should wear sunglasses in bright sunshine. To provide exercise breaks, plan to stop every two hours. Be sure not to drink alcohol or take cold and allergy medications before you drive.