(solution) Running head: COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP

(solution) Running head: COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP

Corrections need to be made on draft 3 attachment.  Please us the prewriting directions and apply it to draft 3.

Running head: COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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Michael oops, I am not sure what this is, really. The assignment was to do the Pre-Writing
Worksheet that was included in the direction to this assignment (a handout to download). I can
give you some credit but overall, your submission does not meet the criteria of the much of
assignment nor does it show your understanding of the concepts we have been learning these
past weeks.
As I mentioned on past comments to your assignments, you are not following the
directions for the assignment. You were to have contrasted TWO leadership styles and the
attributes of those styles (first part of the essay) and then determine how or if one of the
candidates for president would likely be one of these kinds of leaders by giving examples of
things they have done or said (second part of the essay). And after determining and analyzing
their leadership styles, write the last part of the essay why one of those leadership
styles/candidates would make a better president and why (third part of the essay).
I don?t see a thesis statement. It is clear which candidate your essay supports. But you
don?t have a thesis statement.
Donald Trump shares characteristics of the ___________ leadership style and Hillary Clinton shares
characteristics of the ___________ leadership style, and if elected president Clinton would d be
_____________ for the United States because ______________ and _____________ (at least two
blanks).
As you can see, once you fill that in, you will have a mini-outline of your essay.
Without a thesis statement, this draft as written here is likely not very helpful as it is not well organized,
is unclear and does not meet the requirements of the assignment. . It?s also written informally (as shown by the many personal pronouns). Remember that
an academic essay is not a speech where you are talking to a group of people, nor a document COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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where advice or personal feelings are offered. An academic essay needs to be, focused,
balanced, in-depth and academic sources are required.
You did well with intext citations.
Review intro strategies.
Also remember to avoid personal pronouns in academic essays. I fixed some to show you
how. However, I likely did not mark them all. But look at how I fixed them and that can show
you how to fix them or avoid using them.
You CAN do this. I believe in you!
I suggest looking at how I fixed the personal pronoun errors. I also posted an exercise
about this in the Week 4 discussion area which might be helpful to understanding why to avoid
the use of personal pronouns.
There is also usually no reason to use ?I? or ?my? in academic writing. Is this your thesis statement? If so, it is not enough. Thesis statements ae not facts- you have to
make some kind of assertion about a topic. If you are not going to do the Trump or Clinton aspect
of the assignment, you will have to come up with some reason why doing the contrast is important
to a reader in order to have a position of some kind. Merely contrasting the two styles is not enough.
So, when thinking about adding to your thesis statement, ask yourself, why would this contrast be
important to whomever your intended readers are. Below you have chosen several readers- chose
ONE intended audience when finishing your thesis statement. COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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It?s also written informally (as shown by the many personal pronouns). Remember that an
academic essay is not a speech where you are talking to a group of people, nor a document where
advice or personal feelings are offered. An academic essay needs to be, focused, balanced, indepth and academic sources are required.
While you have a quote from two candidates, the quotes are not cited and there is no
references page. Those quotes are not academic research but do need to be cited.
Review intro strategies.
Also remember to avoid personal pronouns in academic essays. I fixed some to show you
how. However, I likely did not mark them all. But look at how I fixed them and that can show
you how to fix them or avoid using them.
You CAN do this. I believe in you!
I suggest looking at how I fixed the personal pronoun errors. I also posted an exercise
about this in the Week 4 discussion area which might be helpful to understanding why to avoid
the use of personal pronouns.
There is also usually no reason to use ?I? or ?my? in academic writing.
I hope these comments are helpful.
Written Assignment Grading Form for Pre-Writing, outline and thesis statement. Content / Development Points Earned 65 Points
40/65
Additional Comments: COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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All key elements of the assignment are Thesis statement needs work. covered in a substantive way. 10 points possible
for each element listed unless otherwise noted. o Review effective intro and conclusion
strategies The thesis statement is written as a declarative Did not answer the question regarding sentence summarizing the main idea of the intended reader nor explain the organizational essay and lists key points. pattern chosen. All main points and supporting details in the
The essay?s organization is not clear and outline are written as phrases or sentences Topic, intended audience and organizational does not follow a bloc or point by point method. pattern are discussed So far, what you have in this planning seems A working introduction is written and ends with
the thesis statement. The introduction is informal and not in depth ?Word counts were met effective and attempts to do the ?job? of an and all questions answered.
The intext citations are correct but intro. A working conclusion is written that is effective
and attempts to do the ?job? of a conclusion. remember if you quote to add the page or
paragraph number. An attempt is made to cite sources using APA
intext citations.
Word counts if given are met. (5 points) Mechanics Points Earned 15 Points
10/15
The outline is formatted and clear (following Additional Comments:
Avoid personal pronouns. the template on the directions). Also, the document Unclear wording throughout. itself is formatted using APA guidelines (title page, You did a nice job formatting the document but double spaced, etc). 7 points possible.
Rules of grammar, usage, and punctuation did not turn in an outline (see the worksheet). are followed. 5 points possible
Spelling is correct. 1 points possible
Personal pronouns are avoided 2 points
possible. Total Points Earned COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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80 Points
Overall Comments: Overall Comments: 50/80 COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
6 Comparison between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Leadership Style
Michael P Cabanayan
University of Phoenix
ENG/220
Professor Karaff COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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Comparison between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Leadership Style
In this essay am going to discuss on the importance of the Americans to vote for Hillary
Clinton over Donald Trump. In my writing, I will give the main reasons for voting in Clinton and
give the primary reasons for USA in achieving a better political approach. [When writing an
introduction, some approaches are best avoided. Avoid starting sentences with ?The purpose of
this essay is . . .? or ?In this essay I will . . .? or any similar flat announcement of your intention
or topic.] You have misunderstood the assignment. The assignment is not to write an essay about
who you are going to vote for. Make sure you are reading directions and comments carefully.
The intended voters in USA are the young people and the aim of this paper m going to write the
reasons that will convince the youths to vote for Hillary as the best choice. In many occasions
youths tend to believe that the leaders they normally never listen to their grievances
(Shambaugh2016). Therefore, young people need to take a very firm stand and vote for a leader
who is a position to understand their problems and be in position to protect their interests. Thus,
when the youths make the choice for Clinton, their lives will change abundandantly.
I have a strong trust that Hillary Clinton would make a better president because she has
the ability to communicate and inspire actions. Hillary Clinton has a more resilient workforce
and will be in position to achieve the key results in the existing business climate. Such resilient
leaders need to have exceptional communication skills. In addition, Clinton has a clear, concise
and will be in position to deliver precise messages, which will motivate people in dealing with
the complex and any disruptive changes.
Hillary Clinton has the ability to embrace change. Like other successful leaders, Hillary
sees periods of change as the time to get curious. This is all about asking questions that will help COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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the country in moving forward rather than staying stuck and lamenting over the common
problems that have there since memorial. In addition, Clinton has committed herself to changing
American society by reform. She envisioned her dreams as a child and made them into a reality
taking advantage of every opportunity she had as a woman (Shambaugh 2016). Clinton has been
able to accomplish so much; she is a graduate, a senator, a lawyer, a mother, and an overall
motivated, intelligent woman: a political genius. Throughout her childhood, aspirations, and life
in the White House. She was ambitious and driven to achieve all her desires.
Hillary Clinton s a leader never gives up. Ii normal situations, it is always easy to get
discouraged as a leader since things will not always go your way. In comparing this lesson
between Donald Trump and Hillary, it is true that, Hillary understands this lesson more than
anybody else does. With all her sheer determination to reach her goals has led to her status as the
Democratic presidential nominee, even after failing previously in her bid for the presidency.
Throughout the 2016 campaign as well, numerous obstacles that have threatened to derail her
have always confronted Hillary. For instance, from the Benghazi scandal to potential indictment
over her emails?but each time, she has stayed the course and moved ahead toward her goals.
This is a clear picture that she is a straightforward leader who never gives up when surrounded
when numerous obstacles. Eventually securing the presidential nomination. Hillary offers an
excellent example for leaders about how to see beyond the horizon and avoid staying in the
valley.
In addition, comparing Hillary and Trump, it is clear to say that Hillary?s evolution into
one of the powerful and influential to people has always been accompanied with her hard work
and even to her luck in politics (Sanjay 2015). Furthermore, basing on my decades in coaching COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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both the male and female leaders and executives, it is not always the hard work and the luck that
counts in success but it is both the art and the science, which strong leaders like Hillary learn and
tend to apply over time and later become great.
Hillary Clinton did not just empower others but in most cases tend to see and share her
vision with many people and lives by her vision. Hillary Clinton?s leadership style has always
helped her in building trust and to be able to collaborate with others easily. Hillary has focus on
her follower?s needs, values and their morals, which shows how well she demonstrated the
transformational approach in comparison to Trump who is self-centered and always makes other
opponent to look bad. In addition, Trump happens to be racist. Therefore becomes unfit to unite
all the Americans since the states contain all kinds of people. Hillary has the transformational
Leadership style; transformational leader is one that identifies the need for change and
creates a vision to guide the change through inspiration and executes the change with the
commitment of the members of the group. In order to help understand the actions of a
transformational leader, it is always good to know the five principles of leadership style that
Hillary Clinton works with in most cases with the following principles (Shambaugh 2016
[Awkward and vague phrasing?Please rewrite for greater clarity.] ). They are, challenging the
process that is always complicate [Awkward and vague phrasing?Please rewrite for greater
clarity.] . Therefore making it simple. She always chose to stand still in any process that is
beneficial to the Americans.Stand still? What does any of this mean? She is Inspiring and she is
able to share her visions with other leaders in creating peace and harmony worldwide (Sanjay
2015). COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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Finally, she has the ability to create relationships with teammates that will share power
in such a manner that it will enable followers to move in the visions direction.
In conclusion, Donald Trump happens to be unfit as the next president to succeed president
Obama. This is because Trump has many racial tendencies. Furthermore he labels all the
Mexicans as being liars rapists and murderous. Thus making him unfit to unite all the states of
America. [Beware of sentence fragments in the essay. Please check Sentence Fragments in the
Grammar Mechanics section of the Grammar and Writing Guides in Center for Writing
Excellence to correct sentence fragments.] However, Hillary outstands as the sober and
energetic leader who is ready to serve the interests of the Americans and the entire world. In
addition, I also believe that [Eliminate first person (I, we, our) in academic essays unless you are
writing about a personal experience or unless you are referring to your actions which would
otherwise create awkward third person sentences. Third person is preferred in academic writing.]
Hillary Clinton would make a better president because she has the ability to communicate and
inspire actions. Hillary Clinton has a more resilient workforce her workforce? and will be in position to achieve the key results in the existing business climate. Such resilient leaders need
to have exceptional communication skills. Therefore, I urge all the American voters to go for
Hillary rather than Donald Trump. COMPARISON BETWEEN HILLARY AND TRUMP LEADERSHIP STYLE
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References
Sanjay Sanghoee 2015. Five Important Leadership Lessons from Hillary Clinton Retrieved 25th
September 2016 from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sanjay-sanghoee/5-importantleadership-le_b_7040280.html
Shambaugh Rabbecca 2016. Leadership Secrets of Hillary Clinton. Retrieved 25th September
2016 from http://www.forbes.com/2010/06/21/hillary-clinton-leadership-lessonsresilience-forbes-woman-leadership-communication-connection.html